BY MISTAKE

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

I GOT A NEW JOB

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders the desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. To just 'play along' and humor her.

Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says.

"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. "OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," she admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

"Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 6)

 Episode 6

 2 weeks before the robbery day,
janet had been skipping class
seriously. She had been
frustrating my effort and I knew
if she continues this way, no
doubt that she will fail the next JAMB. 

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by TCWO

So I thought of a plan. 

Each time I am about to tell her to
attend classes, I will place my
phone on a recorder. So I have
been capturing all her excuses
and conversations. 
Even the periods that she do threatened
me, I do record the threats.

On the night of the robbery, I have
sneaked in as usual, I ate my
dinner in sikirat’s room. We have
had our lessons. 

Just when we  were bleeping in canine style, we
heard a knock on the gate. ”
Open the gate or else I will blow