THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 7)

Episode 7                   

 MADAM: sikira!!!!!!!!!!!!, show
onihaxy his new room. He is now
part of us, whenever he feels like
sleeping over, he should be
welcomed.
Janet looked at me, she smiled and winked. I followed sikirat to
see the room. Now, no more
sneaking, we are now closer.
“Sikirat said”.
I left the white house on that
sunday evening, different thoughts running through my
mind. What is janet up to?, why
did she winked at me?, what if I
was caught with sikirat?, I
thought of  everything and
decided to maintain my usual lesson outing with to the white
house. Sikirat’s lesson at my
home continued every market
days, I keep on enjoying 

BY MISTAKE

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

I GOT A NEW JOB

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders the desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. To just 'play along' and humor her.

Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says.

"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. "OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," she admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

"Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 6)

 Episode 6

 2 weeks before the robbery day,
janet had been skipping class
seriously. She had been
frustrating my effort and I knew
if she continues this way, no
doubt that she will fail the next JAMB. 

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by TCWO

So I thought of a plan. 

Each time I am about to tell her to
attend classes, I will place my
phone on a recorder. So I have
been capturing all her excuses
and conversations. 
Even the periods that she do threatened
me, I do record the threats.

On the night of the robbery, I have
sneaked in as usual, I ate my
dinner in sikirat’s room. We have
had our lessons. 

Just when we  were bleeping in canine style, we
heard a knock on the gate. ”
Open the gate or else I will blow

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 5)

  THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 5)



 Before I could get to the
door, sikirat had opened the
main door. You are welcome “she
said”.
She took me straight to her room.
She has kept a plate of rice and  meat for me. She said “that is the
food I’m supposed to eat, but I
decided to eat the remnants from
the pot and keep this for you.”.
Haba, u shouldn’t have done that
now, why starving yourself? I said. She replied, you deserve
more than that, infact you
deserve everything in this world.
For you to tutor me free of
charge, agreed to pay oga peter
5k monthly and also risk your life to be
here at nights, u deserved
everything. I was marvelled. I
never knew I have done
something that important.
After eating.. I marked her previous assignment. We did little
of mathematics till 11:10pm.
Sikirat said she is tired
and wanted to have her bath
then go to bed. I said ok. Just
infront of me, sikirat untied her wrapper from her waist and

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 4)

 THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER (EPISODE 4)

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by TCWO

I dare not tell madam as instructed
otherwise, janet will make me loose my job.
All I do when during janet’s periods is to sit
down and watch african magic while she
either goes out of the house or lock herself
up in the room.
I was getting uncomfortable about janet’s
attitude and decided to speak with sikirat
about it one day during our lessons in my
house.
ME: sikirat, what is wrong with that janet
sef?, she is very lazy, she keeps skipping
class and I’m getting fed up.
SIKIRAT: **laughs for a while**: sebi she
dey reduce your stress ni?, then why
complain?.
ME: what if she fails her next jamb exam?,
madam will sack me that I’m not doing my
work
SIKIRAT: there is nothing you can do about
it, madam had employed 3 lesson teachers
this year before you, whenever they
complain to madam about aunty janet’s
attitude. Aunty janet will lie that the
teachers want to sleep with her, then
madam will sack them.

RANDOM 1

*Girl & boy go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy’s hand.

*Yesterday’s news: A blond jogging at the park was rapped.
Today’s news: Hundreds of blonds are jogging at the park!!

*Girl to Mom: When I see the neighbor’s son, my braa tightens.
Mom: Next time, don’t wear the bra, his pant would tighten.

*Q: What kind of bees make milk?
A: Boooo-bies

*A son went to a restaurant with his dad who was in his 70s. After a while, a girl with a rainbow colorful hair came in. The dad kept staring at the girl.
The girl got mad and said, “Hey old man, didn’t you do anything crazy when you were young?”
The dad replied, “I did, like f*cking a parrot and I was wondering if you were my daughter.”

*One evening, a wife drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devote they are? He kisses her everytime they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her well enough.”

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by TCWO

THE WHALE

A male whale produces 8 – 9 thousand gallons of semen, and the female takes only 10% of it.

And you expect the sea water ‘not’ to be salty.

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by TCWO

HANDSAW

A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. He spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the f–k is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”.

The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you – I’m coming!”

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by TCWO

IRON THIS

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

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by TCWO

A GIRLS FIRST TIME

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before.

A CHRISTMAS TREE

A family is at the dinner table. 
The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20′s, a woman’s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30′s to 40′s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers,
 “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20′s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30′s and 40′s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50′s, it is like a Christmas Tree.”

“A Christmas tree?”

“Yes – the root’s dead and the balls are just for decoration.”

BACK ON MONDAY

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

"You did. All over his suit, " Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, fuck him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

Only God knows what he saw...

Anyways I need Mine

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

This is one of my #1 days of celebration

I use this medium to celebrate all Dads Today,cause they have great and positive  impacts in our lives...
We Love You Dads - All Around The World...

FATHERS CAN BE BEST FRIENDS...

Mine is...

BEST DANCE VINE EVER-TCWO

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by TCWO

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER ((EPISODE 3))

THE TALE OF A PRIVATE LESSON TEACHER ((EPISODE 3))

Its 1:30pm, I left my house and set out for
my lesson job. I arrived at the white house,
knocked on the gate and the gateman
ushered me in.
I went straight to the main door entrance. A
heavy sound of. “I fit die ontop your matter”
was coming out of the room that no one
could hear me knocking. Then I remembered
I have janet’s number. I called her and no
one picked. I called sikirat that I’m outside,.
A minute later, the door was opened.
I entered and met janet on a pink top and a
bump short.

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by TCWO

 She was sweating, then I guess
she must have been dancing.
ME: hi jane, I’m here for the lesson,
JANET: “eeeehhmmm onihaxy” did I get it
right?
ME: yes

WHAT DO U CALL THAT !!!

Take a look at this.
A friend of mine, who is a VET
Did this to a DOG.
She has been asking If she should bring one down for me since I so much love Dogs,but that is no longer a dog.
Who would buy that...and not end up dead one day.

SAY MOO

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

SUCK'EM DRY

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you?re so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"