Some Words Nigerians Say - Here's 20

1. I thought to myself

That's kind of how it works. Well, at least until they create brain wifi. Or are you so used to thinking for other people that you had to make the distinction.

2. I saw it with my own eyes

That's really convincing. Here I was, thinking that you saw it with someone else's eyes.

3. Can I ask you a question? / can I have a word with you?

You just did, and your limit is up.

4. Did I wake you?

No. Sometimes I like to lay limp and breath heavily with my eyes closed.

5. I don't mean to interrupt...

The hell you didn't!. What were your intentions then?

6. Can we talk?

You obviously can, so are you asking me if I'm a mute?

7. To tell you the truth, to be honest with you, truth be told, I'm not going to lie...

So basically, what you're saying is that without this disclaimer, I should only expect complete bullshit to come flying out of your mouth? Thanks for making an exception for me.

8. If I were you...

I thank my God you aren't, because If you were me, you'd be talking to an idiot that is imagining that he is me.

9. We can agree to disagree

We could but I'd have to disagree with you on that.

10. God Bless Nigeria

Who the hell came up with this slogan?
We are already blessed so why then are u rubbing it in God's face?

11. Good things come to those who wait

You lazy people sure are good at coming up with slogans.

12. Why are all the good men taken?
good man?, come on girl, do you actually mean someone that's gonna put up with your bullshit!.

13. I need some space

That's great, it's all around you.

14. Money doesn't buy happiness

Duh, how would your broke ass know?

15. You are what you eat

How dare you call me a cannibal.

16. I beg to differ

Oh please, I would really love to see you beg, though.

17. Curiosity killed the cat

I no wan die o, so I guess I shouldn't be curious to know what it was curious about

18. How do I look?
With u gazing so hard at me right now, I think u look like a total idiot

19. Think outside of the box

Why didn't you tell me that earlier. I've been sitting in this damned box for 4 days straight, trying to figure out why I was in it to begin with.

20. The glass is half full or half empty

It really all depends on the state of the glass prior to it being a "middle glass?". If it were empty, it's now half full; if it were full, it's now half empty. So, I'm not doubting that it can be, but I do doubt that it's solely up to me to decide whether it is or isn't.