SILLY INSTRUCTIONS

On hairdryer instructions: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
Frozen dinner that says: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tirimisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boots' (pharmacy chain in the UK) children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol: Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.